Just when we were complaining about how the Fox reality show needed a mentor to ride in on a white horse and rescue all the contestants, Season 9's first mentor is a 17-year-old with an Auto-tune dependency.
Past mentors have ranged from charming codgers like Barry Manilow or Tony Bennett to more au courant J. Lo and Gwen Stefani. But while the reality show powerhouse may still be killing the competition, it's bleeding viewers, which probably has producers in a panic. And, reading the tea leaves of last season's Kris Allen upset probably has pushed them to go tween hunting by any means necessary.
"Idol" Suicide Mission
While Cyrus may be a tween sensation, her limited years and vocal range are pushing "Idol" faithfuls already teetering on the edge of despair. "When Idol hits bottom they REALLY hit the bottom. Is Milli Vanilli next week?" asked one aghast EW commenter. Wondered another, "Miley Cyrus is going to give Crystal and Siobhan singing advice? Are the producers intentionally trying to kill this show...!"
The People (magazine)'s reactions aren't any more charitable: "Ha, Ha, whatta joke! AI must really be grasping at straws, gotta admit I haven't been much into watching the show this season anyway. Don't care much for Kara and not a fan of Ellen either. The beginning of the end perhaps?"
Then again, there's always the reverse psychology-conspiracy theory, courtesy of another EW wag: The show may be "trotting out singers with limited range like Miley and Ke$ha to make their own crop sound better."
Whatever the reason, even former executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, who left after Season 7, thinks the show needs a reboot. He told the New York Post he'd dump all the judges and sign up Elton John — another old guy with a proven record.
Walk a Miley in Her Shoes
Does Cyrus deserve all this? Sure, she may be 17, but she has a story to tell (plus a movie to plug). It hasn't been all a Disney ride for young Cyrus. She's had struggles to overcome, like a dad with a mullet and seemingly topless photos in a major magazine. (Sure, the photos were taken with her approval and with her parents on the set, but still, she was "so embarrassed.")
And sure, she may not have the range of, say, the average Season 9 "Idol" contestant, but she can talk about the other things that makes an underaged star a star, like the time she really listened to fan feedback and ditched pole-dancing from her concert tours.
When the Shark Bites
Here's the problem: "Idol" is all about the Cinderella story. Sheer talent — and not, say, family connections or a Disney machine like Cyrus had — will triumph against all odds.
Plus, it's one thing having Cyrus do a painful comedic routine with Billy Crystal on an "Idol Gives Back" telethon. Having her give coaching lessons on music, and following that up with a Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato performance on Wednesday, smacks of shameless pandering to long-time "Idol" followers.
Besides, "Idol" is already behind the curve — Cyrus' searches on Yahoo! have been sinking steadily: Her latest buzz is nearly a third lower than in March 2008, right before the Vanity Fair brouhaha.
One thing might save "Idol" credibility: Usher apparently leaked news that he's coming the following week to help out the Top 10. Lucky for him, he won't have a tough act to follow.
David Mikael Taclino
Inyu Web Development and Design
Creative Writer
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